100 word challenge 12- Cushion, Scarlet, Annoying, Watered, Violin- my 34th piece in 2017

My sister was annoying terribly. I ran in to the kitchen and my mouth watered a delicious smell met my nostrils. I knew it immediately, mum was making an apple pie! “Kym can you get some more apples from the back pleas”? Asked my mum “Sure” I said and Bolted to the store room. But when I got there I didn’t find apples but a scarlet violin, I stepped with caution towards it and played. Suddenly a portal opened in front of me and a voice said “finish the journey and you will find the apples”.

“You’re on” I shouted and jumped through the portal.

2 thoughts on “100 word challenge 12- Cushion, Scarlet, Annoying, Watered, Violin- my 34th piece in 2017

  1. Finn, this is a wonderful piece- I really want to find out more about that magical violin. I love the way you used verbs interestingly- ‘met my nostrils’ , ‘bolted towards the door’, ‘stepped with caution’.
    There’s a couple of particular conventions around talking marks that you need to find out about to punctuate your dialogue more carefully. Please remind me to show you.
    Great work,
    Ant

  2. This is another wonderfully imaginative piece, Finn, but I think you should read your work out loud to yourself before posting to make sure it flows smoothly with grammar and punctuation.
    Love,
    Mama

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